Corny souvenirs? I love 'em (I ought to, they're running out my ears)! They're usually vintage, and have lovely illustrations of things like the St. Louis Arch, or Niagara Falls. Ash trays, plates, corn on the cob holders, cigarette cases... but my favorites are the pillows. Sometimes satiny, sometimes velvety, usually fringed, and slowly inherited by folks who could give a rat's arse where Granma Pritchard went "in the good ol' days" (and they're STILL trying to get rid of those holiday slides). When there's an empty spot in my brain (you should feel ashamed for thinking such things!), I sometimes wonder what the pillows from Graceland might have looked like if the trend had continued that long. Probably something like this! That's right, ladies and germs, for a mere $29.95 you can have the Elvis Presley '68 Comeback special pillow! But wait! That's just the FIRST in the series! Keep paying, and you'll also get the SECOND in the series, Aloha From Hawaii! WHAT A DEAL! Oh. Em. GEE! This is almost as good as the Bionic Ear! I haven't much room to make fun, after all, I proudly display my Graceland souvenir... a replica of his stained-glass peacocks... Yeah, that!
How about a slideshow (you thought I'd never ask)? Pillows from some of my favorite places we've been to...
Hell, if we're talking Graceland and Elvis and that, we need MUSIC fer cryin' out loud! This is playing on the headset as you drive through the famous gates of Graceland...
In my family, Lobster In Maine is a common phrase. The story is that, when we were in DC last year, we decided to go up to Baltimore to see Fort McHenry... you know, Francis Scott Key, Star Spangled Banner, all that fun stuff. Well, we thought we'd drive a little further into Maryland, and, at some point, we ended up in New Jersey, 100 miles from NYC. We pleaded our chauffeur (AKA Daddy) to go to the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps; I was convinced that I'd finally be able to realize that secret dream of mine (taking a daisy to Strawberry Fields). Lo, he says no. I know he had good reasons, after all... even so, we were disappointed. As we tried to make cheery, the infamous line was first uttered: "Why don't we just keep going and have lobster in Maine?!" That phrase has come to mean an extravagant display of daring/adventure/stupidity/spontaneity, among other things. Our little day trip to Wyoming embodies the saying completely. Our luggage was in Colorado Springs, and we're driving to Cheyenne at three o'clock in the afternoon (in December, in the mountains)... utter stupidity, total spontaneity, pretty much reckless abandon... but so much FUN! Now, I must brace myself for what I am about to say. If I were to take a time machine back just a mere 24 hours and show this post to myself, I'd have said you were telling a big fat lie, and that you had a sick, twisted mind (that's the clean version, anyway). Let me take you back... Yesterday, at 3:36 PM, I was quietly doing some work, minding my own business, when my mother says "WHAT?! CHECK YOUR EMAIL!" "Why?" I asked her. "I just got an email from Paul," she says. "What would the newsletter be sending us?" I thought to myself as I headed to my Gmail. Lo and behold, in the subject line, 'Paul McCartney - Up And Coming Tour'. I open the email, and it says two shows are planned: Glendale, AZ, and the Hollywood Bowl. I'll skip the gory, fangirly-screaming details, but you can expect soundcheck pictures from Arizona. Number Nine, here I come (and nine, by the way, is my lucky number... incidentally, we're in the ninth row, too)! I love my life. Lobster In Maine.
I've said it hundreds of times, but I've just gotta say it again... DEAR GOD, I LOVE THAT MAN! This gets me to thinking of the first song I heard him perform live... I always say it's the moment I handed my heart to the Gods of Rock...
Firstly, I cannot take credit for that title... my mother saw it in the comments section of a news post today. Which brings us to Gary Coleman. Yes, that's right, that love-to-hate little whiny sack of wrinkly potatoes, Gary Coleman. He's always reminded me of those hairless cats, in an odd way...
You be the judge.
ANYWAY... I like to keep tabs on what he's up to (hey, it's free entertainment, so far as I'm concerned). Have you seen his latest outburst? What a riot!
I'm with Dr. Dude, this guy needs to be heavily sedated... frequently.
I still think Vanilla Ice (yeah, that guy) should have thrown Mr. Coleman in the deep fryer when he had the chance. Unfortunately, I can't find that clip, so you'll have to take this one instead (you shan't be disappointed!).
Don't we have better things to do with our lives? Yes. Isn't there something of worth to blog about? Yes. Do we care that we have better things to do with our lives, and more worthy things to blog? No.
SONG TIME!
Am I the only one imagining that those bongos were Gary Coleman, and Elvis was giving him a well deserved bonk on the head? Yes? OK, just making sure.
That's right, dudes and dudettes, it's Valentine's Day! So send your loved ones a card and some candy...
Don't have a special Valentine? Here are some suggestions as to where to send those extra cards...
Carl Cameron Everyone at the network hates him (yes, a pity Valentine, like you might give to Charlie Brown). Just ask Shep! Even Major Garrett looks displeased.
Sarah Palin Would you be my President... I mean, Valentine?
Yoko Ono She's one helluva lady, and a stellar human being.
And, of course.... THE PRECIOUS! He's the most... well, precious... thing to ever grace existence, and I'm convinced he's Jesus's favorite.
Did I forget to mention we're out of town? (Yes, I did, don't strain yourself trying to think back on this drivel.) We've been down in Odessa (I know, you should feel sorry for us) this week, and I thought I'd update you on some of the funsies we've been up to! We went down to Fort Davis to see, well, Fort Davis...
...the McDonald Observatory... (there's Javalena in them th'ar mountains! We did see one lone live one running around out there...)
...and, of course, the Texas Mountains! (Yes, they are snowcapped...)
We're going to President Bush's childhood home tomorrow, so that'll be interesting, anyway.
Something else I found interesting... who here thinks that Tony Jay...
...looks a bit like Pete Townshend?
You be the judge.
Speaking of Pete Townshend, we missed the Super Bowl this year (we've been in Odessa, after all-doncha know-yup, yup), meaning we missed The Who play the half-time show! Thank heavens for YouTube!
Was it a little silly to hope that Mr. Townshend would be wearing the famous Union Jack suitcoat (that we haven't seen in how many decades)?
Either way, what an awesome stage! Though, I would have sacrificed the shots of Zak Starkey for a close up on Pete's fretboard during Baba O'Riley. And I can't have been the only one that got a little excited to hear the opening chords to Teenage Wasteland...
How can we talk music without hearing from The Precious (you thought I'd never ask, didn't you)?
Isn't he adorable?
Wondering how the advert turned out?
I'll leave you with The Boosh... I heard some Gary Newman as we were out and about, and this clip came to mind...
Who here is familiar with the self-titled "The Beatles" album (AKA, The White Album Of Effing Awesomeness... yes, I added to it a little bit, but you get the point)? Yes, yes you are. (If you aren't I suggest you go back and read the boring drivel on both the stereo and mono remasters I have written on this amazingnessness in past posts.) Now that we have established ourselves on the musical part of the evening, how are we on the comedy side? Who here is also familiar with Pearls Before Swine? (If you aren't, I suggest you take a moment to familiarize yourself... it's the best comic since the original Nancy [which really says something about me, doesn't it?]). I can think of no better way to present these than by simply saying here's part one, here's part two; enjoy! Have no idea what Pig, Goat, and Rat are talking about?
To quote Paul Harvey: "And now you know... ... the rrrrrresssst of the story." Am I the only one that thinks of this public service announcement when I hear Revolution 9?...
In keeping with the avant-garde feel of this post, I'm just going to post some stuff that's been floating about in my brain bucket... it most likely will not make any sense, but neither does my brain!
How 'bout a song, and we'll go? Sound good? (You shouldn't scream 'yes' in such a manner, you'll injure yourself.)
Now you can sing this song for days and days... just like I've been! I've even got my mother singing it... NO ONE IS SAFE!
You may remember (or maybe not, you have a life) my previous post on snow... well, that snow was TAME compared to the snow we're having right now! When we saw just how ginormous the flakes were (about the size of half-dollars), we had to go out and play in it! Same view as last week...
I think this one shows just how freaking BIG those flakes were, and they were that big for probably an hour, too (the large white streak on the left side of the frame is pretty accurate)... ... and yes, the settings on the camera were right... those flakes were just that big!
While I was outside, I couldn't resist taking my beloved macro shots of boring nature stuff (I LOVE to photograph trees, if you never knew)...
It's still snowing like a monkey in shoes (I don't know why I said that, but it's staying... I may even try to make that a new phrase... tell your friends!), and our walkways are completely white now. This is a great night to cuddle up with a fresh pot of tea and some As Time Goes By!
Who here remembers Ken Jennings? Oh, of COURSE you do!
Yeah, that guy! Oh, how I loved to pop a bag of popcorn, sit down with my giant mug of iced tea, and watch him on "Jeopardy!" (I saw 73 of his 75 appearances on the show... yes, I was a follower, what's it to you?)... wait, I still like to pop a bag of popcorn, sit down with my giant mug of iced tea and watch "Jeopardy!"... but that's another story. ANYWAY... the point is that I like to keep an eye on Mr. Jennings. While I was looking at his amazon.com Author's Page, I found the link that made my Bloggy Senses start to tingle. That's right, dudes and dudettes, Ken Jennings has his own blog! This is sure to be a cracking time for us all! If you hadn't noticed, I'm VERY EXCITED about this... probably too excited... moving on!
Switching gears now... this past week, one of my favorite authors (and I hope one of yours), JD Salinger, passed away. It's hard to feel sorry for him, he was ninety-one years old for cheese's sake, but a loss none the less. It's hard to say we'll miss him, since he hasn't published any new material since the Johnson Administration (yes, I measure everything by Presidential Administrations... would you have preferred me to say he hadn't published anything since Rubber Soul? Didn't think so.)... in fact, I'm rather curious to see what's been hiding in the Salinger Vault these last forty-five years. We'll probably hear more from him now he's gone than when he was living. And now, Mr. Feeny will recite a poignant tribute...
Well said, Mr. Feeny, well said.
In related news (PULL OUT THE KODAK, IT'S RELEVANT!), as I was reading the Confessions Of A Trivial Mind Blog (yes, Ken Jennings... keep up with the program!), I found this post that made me double over with laughter. Why would it cause me to dissolve into a puddle of hysteric mush, you ask? I've got a story along the same lines. Read his post, or you'll never understand this next bit.
Did you read it? Good. Five days ago, I get a call from my sister. I'll paraphrase, but it went something like this.
Sister : My condolences (in reference to Mr. Salinger's passing). Me : Yes, I heard about that earlier today. That's alright, we'll get to read what he's been up to all these years. S : Well, I deserve condolences today, too. M : Why? S : Zelda Rubinstein died. M : Who? S : The Gypsy in the Poltergeist! M : Ahhh, okie dokie then, umm, my condolences (because, in my sister's mind, the death of a tormented literary genius [rather redundant phrase, admittedly... all literary geniuses are tormented... they suffer for their art] and a midget from an 80's cult movie are in the same league... that sister 'o mine is just ADORABLE!).
I leave you now with a song ('cause I've been singing it for days, and it just won't go away!)...
... it's been snowin' like a banshee today (I'd estimate that we got about eight inches, but the drifts make it harder to guess)!
We actually got to break in the snow blower and everything. That little sucker works like a charm... it made a wall of snow over a foot tall (and there's an inch on top of that at this point)... it looks something like this... ... as do a few of the windows around the house, as well as the skylights! Needless to say, it's a perfect night for tucking in with a strong, hot cuppa, a brownie sundae (you better believe it!) and watching Sundance/Supernatural. I've been making all kinds of jokes around this clip from last week's episode...
Just like living with me! (Come on, you didn't actually think you would get away with just a few pictures of snow and it be over, did you? I HAD to throw something in for flavor, it's the LAW.)
In relation to the snow, I've been singing this song since I got up this morning...
See, you can't escape without hearing The Precious, either.
When I hear something, or read/see it somewhere on the interwebs, and my Bloggy Senses start to tingle, I know it's time to head to my blog and start writing.
My mother read me this article today, and I have thought of little else since then. Why, you may ask, have I thought of nothing since then? Well, my Bloggy Senses were coming up with YouTube videos and links and pictures, and it's a very busy little world up there in my thinkhatch (doing such things as planning blogs, and wondering about the marvels of string cheese, or how a thermos can keep something both hot and cold). Instead of just posting the TMZ link, I have decided that it makes more sense to also stick the text here, if that's alright with you (but, since it's my blog, why am I asking permission?). Are we ready?
Steven Tyler Serenades A Home Depot
Rehabbing rock star Steven Tyler treated a bunch of shoppers at a Home Depot to an impromptu concert this weekend -- by singing two of Aerosmith's biggest hits a cappella over the store's loudspeaker.
TMZ spoke to multiple employees at the H.D. in Rancho Mirage, CA., who tell us Tyler randomly picked up the microphone on Saturday and belted out snippets of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" and "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" for all the weekend warriors to enjoy.
And get this: We're also told Tyler took a hit from a helium machine and kept singing Bee Gees style (this was the point at which tea spewed from my nose, and I collapsed over the desk in a fit of giggle-goo) while signing autographs for anyone who asked.
Coolest. Guy. Ever.
Stephen Tyler turns into the Brothers Gibb... what a freaking riot! Look at this picture while you listen to the following song (and this is actually Steven Tyler, by the way, not a 65 year old Granma from Boca)...
The bit I liked best was that he took a hit on the helium machine and just kept going! I assume it sounded something like this (PICTURE TIME AGAIN! What? You only live once, don'cha know.)...
Over a loud speaker at the Home Depot...
And is it just me, or does Steven Tyler look a little bit like this?... You decide.
Moving in another direction entirely, ever since I found out our Mystery Monkey was called Mickey, I've been singing this song...
All this talk of music, and we've not yet heard from The Precious! Preposterous, say I, PREPOSTEROUS!
If you weren't singing and dancing with that song, then, frankly, you are not human, and should seek medical attention immediately. And what was the deal with that figure eight cowlick abomination on the side of Denny's head? It reminds me of something...
For someone like me, finding a news agency that you're comfortable with is a slightly daunting task. With FOX News, I'm very comfortable watching their station (and sorting through the extreme right-wing nutjobness), though, when you see their website, there's something left to be desired... while with, say CNN or MSNBC, you have to sort through the extreme liberal wiener-ness. However, my vote for favorite website (and since that's how I check the news, this is a very crucial decision... CRUCIAL!), it's got to be MSNBC. Their homepage is so incredibly customizable, and I love that little stocks tracker (I have taken to actually checking to see what the DJI average is a few times during trading hours... yes, I have too much time on my hands, I know). However, the news today seems to have one (HAH!) severe problem... a lack of proof reading. A picture's worth a thousand words, so here goes...
Yes, cat lovers are so neurotic, they can't even tell if they're fussing over a cat or a chihuahua. Time for a new pair of glasses, Sonny Jim!
'Cause this...
...and this... are SOOOO easy to confuse. (That Baby, by the way, is my Lilly... she's my pride and joy, sugars and spices and all that is nices, my prettyful-beautiful-wonderful Honey Nugget. And yes, I call her that, frequently.)
In other news, if you're wondering where I get my political jargon, have a peep at this video!
Oh, the days when the only major worry we had with politics was if Al Gore would make a comeback (I now like to call him the Crazy Green Ninny instead of Whiny Looooser)! And, for the record, I do a mean Howard Dean impersonation...
Who here remembers when Ginger and I went monkey hunting? (You may want to refresh yourself on this subject, not only because it's pertinent, but because it's a helluva story!) Well, strap on your ears, 'cause here comes part two! On a light post in Canyon, this odd flyer is taped...
In case you cannot read it, it says...
LOST!!! Spider monkey goes by the name of Mickey. About three feet tall, with grayish brown tail. Will attack if cornered. Please contact if spotted. Do not attempt to come in contact with! Very Dangerous!!!
When she found out there actually WAS a missing monkey (and everyone should be able to type 'missing monkey' as pertaining to their lives at least once, 'cause it's a freaking RIOT), my mother danced (not only because she was vindicated, but because the big freaktastic monkey didn't attack her children, who, if you recall, beat on every juniper bush on the block with big sticks, and even took a search dog to find "Mickey"). The scene was rather like this...
So, as I said back in July, if you know of anybody missing a monkey...
Since this post is to toast my darling Mama, I dedicate this clip to her...
I don't usually watch awards shows... they always make you feel like such a slouch, sitting in your recliner in nothing but your underwear and your knee-high socks with the little grippy stars on the bottom, realizing that you've done nothing with the last six hours but eaten an entire pint of Ben And Jerry's, and a box of Little Debbie gingerbread cookies. Anyway... I broke the rules for the Golden Globes, not only because Ricky Gervais was the MC (which we'll get to in a moment), but that our Paulie was going to present (which we were all VERY excited for at Fusspot Farm). Ricky started out well, I thought, which was a good thing... I had hoped they'd ask him back (again, we'll get to that), and, as the awards ceremony kicked off, I settled in to wait for Paul. Much to my surprise, his category was one of the first to be announced...
Isn't he adorable?
It wasn't long after Paul's too brief appearance on stage (since he didn't win a shiny statue for his song, (I Want To) Come Home... and he should have!) that this incident happened...
Yes, he did just say that. I have been eagerly awaiting some kind of response from Mr. Gervais (via his blog, of course), and was just treated to this entry...
So that was The Golden Globes. Hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I did. I was worried about the Paul McCartney line but then he came backstage and hugged me and said he loved it, so that was OK. Never piss off a Beatle - rule 1.
In other news, I have to say that I loved the beginning of this guy's acceptance speech...
Now, enough with stuffy award ceremonies, let's talk about fun stuff! Did anybody catch Ringo on Jimmy Fallon last week? If you didn't, I must say, you didn't miss much, except this little gem. Mr. Fallon is a HUGE Beatles fan, and you can certainly see his excitement about Ringo's appearance on his show in this clip... do watch it, it's the cutest thing (besides Paul, of course) that I've seen in eons...
And now, for something completely different...
I agree with Mr. Ross... the best dancing time IS naked time.
