Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Oh, the glory that is digital remastering.
The Beatles remasters blow my mind (and, if I ever get the chance, i.e., after algebra, I'll share the goods, never fear!); the upcoming Paulie remasters have me wetting my britches; now, we are finally getting full details about the John remasters, out to celebrate his 70th birthday!
There will be several releases... just the hits, which would probably be what you, dear reader, would prefer, but I'm going right for the jugular: John Lennon Signature Box all the way! It sounds really gear, and just in time for my own birthday, too (hint to close relatives, hint, hint, hint)! As quoted from the Imagine Peace website:

The John Lennon Signature Box is a deluxe 11CD and digital collection of the eight remastered albums, a disc of rare and previously unreleased recordings, and an EP of Lennon’s non-album singles. The CDs will be housed in digisleeves within a deluxe box including a collectible limited edition John Lennon art print and a hardbound book featuring rare photos, artwork, collages, poetry, and new liner notes by DeCurtis.

Previously unreleased recordings? Not even in the Anthology? Ooo, do tell, love, do tell.
By far one of the coolest things with this set is going to be the Double Fantasy strip-down...

Double Fantasy, 1980’s GRAMMY Award winner for Album of the Year, will be presented in a newly remixed ‘Stripped Down’ version remixed and produced by Yoko Ono and Jack Douglas, co-producers of the original mix with John Lennon. The new stripped down version of the album comes in an expanded 2CD and digital edition pairing the new version with Lennon’s original mix, remastered.

YOKO ONO added: “Double Fantasy Stripped Down really allows us to focus our attention on John’s amazing vocals. Technology has advanced so much that, conversely, I wanted to use new techniques to really frame these amazing songs and John’s voice as simply as possible. By stripping down some of the instrumentation the power of the songs shines through with an enhanced clarity. Double Fantasy Stripped Down will be complemented by the original album in the 2CD format. It was whilst working on the new version of this album that I was hit hardest emotionally, as this was the last album John released before his passing.”

How incredibly fun is this going to be? More goodies to bother everybody with! Um, I mean, to blog about!

Song Time!
This was the first one that came to mind, and I don't know why, but I'm running with it anyway.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

NEWS FLASH! It's OK To Be Yourself

I'm taking a physical education class this summer... I figure it's better to take an eight-week course than the full sixteen (and they always said I was an idiot... that's THEM told off, then!); I mean, it's not anything major, it's just a fitness walking class (AKA, you need the PE credit to get your degree, but you're an out-of-shape numpty, so here's an easy one, 'cause it's hard enough to pass algebra, so there you go). Anyway, I walk five or six days a week on my mother's treadmill, and, to be pretty honest, it's dead dull. Reading doesn't really work (nowhere to put my book, you know), so I resort to watching inane television. Most of the time, I can watch Headline News, but they stop playing actual news at four o'clock in the afternoon (they think that Showbiz Tonight is more interesting than real news, like Lucy's grandfather being discovered? Yeah, wasn't covered in the thirty minute tape loop that day, or any day afterward. Go figure.)
So the story went today... I watched Headline News until the weekend edition of their mindless evening shows came on (and, by the way, weekend Headline News is also a laughing matter... they just covered the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, and the tornado in Montana last Sunday). I had to resort to something called Tacky House. Have you heard of this abomination? Please, click the link, see what they're all about. I'll wait.

In case it isn't on their homepage, here's a video of the specific episode I saw...

Did you see it?
Are you disturbed?
I sure was.
Certainly not by the woman, or her house, but that someone out there funds and executes this idea. To me, it's a reflection of one of the biggest, most detrimental flaws of human character: not accepting fellow humans for what they are.
That lady liked her house; she was the only one living there, she was comfortable with it, and, most importantly, with herself. What was it any of the designer's, or, more importantly, the "informant's", AKA, her old friend, business if it wasn't exactly normal? It didn't harm anyone, and it made her happy. It's not like she kicks puppies into the street when the sweeper is driving down the road; she's not lacing the kiddie's Halloween candy with D-Con... she just likes leprechauns.
To be honest, I love leprechauns, too. I'm very proud of my mostly Irish heritage, and I like to have my little nick-knacks sitting about, too. Combine 'em, and whatta ya got?

Here's a solute to my own lack of taste...

I know there are other shows highlighting people's "lack of taste"...
I've always had a sneaking suspicion that my
sister or brother-in-law would sign me up for
What Not To Wear
(when I go out in public, it's always dark blue or black skinny jeans,
and Beatles t-shirts for me.
I know my lack of make-up and hairstyle bugs the hell out of everybody but my mother, too...
the way I figure it, though, is if Linda McCartney got Paul by just being herself, there's something to it),
and I've always had similar issues with that show...
but I think Tacky House just takes it to a whole new level of intolerance.
What Not To Wear doesn't tell you what kind of knickers to wear,
and that's just as personal as telling someone that their decorating sense isn't "updated", "hip",
or whatever the hell brainwashing they've decided to call it these days.
Maybe it's a big deal to me because I always have to explain myself to folks that don't
understand exactly who I am
(which is pretty much everybody).
I know they don't get the vintage dresses, the t-shirts,
how I love to plaster my walls with whatever my "thing" is that day,
or, the biggest one of my entire life, why I rarely cut my hair.
I have a very Linda McCartney attitude toward other people
(i.e., if you don't like it, it's your problem, not mine),
but I have observed that most other people have
genuine problems opening themselves up to exploring who they really are.
It's a personal, spiritual journey that takes a very long time to get used to...
and shows like the two I've mentioned don't help make it any easier.
It's like saying, "You suck, change."
And the participants say "Oh, alright, if I can fit in this way, I'll do it."
It's three shades of screwed up, and it's very hard to watch... like a car accident, you know?
You'll slow down to look at the cars involved,
and the folks on their cell phones,
or screaming at each other,
morbidly intrigued by the debacle unfolding in front of you.
It's that, but crushing your personality instead of your fender and tail light.

I try to avoid this topic on the blog.
As you can see, it's a big issue with me,
and if you ever get the chance to talk with me in depth,
you'll find out that I ramble, as is also evident with this post.
You know, this post came at a good time for me, though.
I was just thinking this morning
(because I think about the blog quite a lot)
that I post too much Beatles/Paul stuff,
that perhaps I should cut back on it.
After all, I like to think I have a small readership,
and, if I want to keep that, maybe I should add a little variety.
Where was my Linda attitude this morning?
If you read this drivel, you can sift through the Paulieness!
It's me, and I like it, so tough titty.

Although, if you don't like sifting through the Paul stuff, it's your lucky day!
(which, by the way, are turning to a subscription only station, the bastards)
played a song I haven't heard in at least ten years, if not more.
I had actually forgotten how much I loved this song when I was little...
I used to sing it to myself at the school playground
('cause I actually did go to public school for about three years, believe it or not),
and the other kids would tell me to sing real songs.
Impertinent little tits.
So, a blast from my past, here's The Who...

Friday, June 18, 2010

Who's My Favorite Birthday Boy?

It's official. This blog talks way too much about our Paulie.
Don't think it's exclusive to the blog, though... I'm just as bad in person, except I have to explain the videos that I see in my head, rather than just embedding them here.
There are worse things to talk about than Paul, though. We could talk about the global economy, the BP oil disaster, or why Kate Gosselin creeps her way into international headlines on MSNBC ('cause that bugs me).

This is not what you were going to blog about, was it, Assbutt?

No, Reginald Kitty, it wasn't what I was going to blog about.
Let's get back to talking about Paul.
Why, you may well ask?
Because it's his BIRTHDAY! And how often do we get to wish The Babyface a happy birthday? Yes, I realize it's once a year, but you get the point.

So, raise your teacup high, and toast the cuteness...

...the advertising campaigns...

...but, most importantly, the ongoing life of The Precious!

Happy Birthday, Love! Another forty more, m'kay?

Oh, by the way... were you wondering where Assbutt came from?
Now you know.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Lester Who?

You know, the title of this blog was going to be "Botanical Bonding", but I think the one we've got suits the day a bit better.


Seester and I spent the morning in a basement... umm, I mean, at the Botanical Gardens, "learning" all about photography. Sort of.
Our morning was kind of like this...

...but all in text, and not toward each other. 'Cause we're Rock 'N' Roll like that.

Anyway, we got to take pictures of some lovely flowers, so I got to stretch my macro muscle (because that's what it's called) and take some shots of more tropical fare, and other bits.

You say you'd like to see them?
Do you mean it?
Well, you're watching 'em, anyway.

Now, wasn't that fun?
I thought it was.
And the Botanical Garden is boasting free admission through the month of June,
so perhaps we'll go back sometime when we've got more time to spare.

Oh, and perhaps you were wondering... Lester Who?
Well, I've Googled him, and this, apparently, is Lester.

Lovely lad, but he's not our Reginald Kitty...

And to think, we almost made it an entire post without our Reginald.
At least you escaped without mention of Paul...
...oh, never mind.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Ticket Central, Or, Paul-ticipation

Hi, my name is Archibald Heatherington Nastyface (first names only, please), and I have a Paul McCartney addiction. (Hey, some folks go sky diving...)
I started experiencing symptoms in 2001, and then, I saw The Precious in May of 2002.
The affliction has only grown from there. We went again in 2005, where we caught our first "limo watch", as it's called on the boards.
In 2008, after suffering three years of Paul-withdrawals, I camped out in a van for eleven hours just to watch him leave his hotel.
In 2009, we followed him to Tulsa and Dallas, marking the first concert in almost four years.
In 2010, we dove in for Lobster In Maine, and headed out to Phoenix to celebrate the first show for the Up And Coming Tour...

We're going to make a complete circle on July 15th, because we're going BACK to Pepsi Center, where the magic really began to set in, for another dose of awesomeness with the Babyface.

So, what does this mean?
It means we're going to see another Paul concert, for those of you who didn't quite understand my long-abouts way of presenting this information.

Reginald Kitty will not be joining us in Denver.

For those of you who have never experienced a Paul pre-sale, it's your lucky day!
I have documented the experience through the magic of film (well, it's actually an SD card, but you get the point... digital, don'cha know)!

10:13 AM
Computers already poised for the 11AM pre-sale.
We take no chances when it comes to The Precious!

10:14 AM
Already trying to get through on the phone lines!

10:15 AM
Provisions for the stressful wait...

10:17 AM
Phone central...

10:17 AM
A real human!... who told us there were no phone sales.
Can't say we didn't try!

10:20 AM
Mile Marker 1...

10:26 AM
Questions for unsuspecting box office employees...

10:28 AM
We're slightly confused by the box office employee (this is such a stressful situation, common words like your name take a few seconds to process)...

10:34 AM
Mile Marker 2... tensions are really growing high at Fusspot Farm...

10:45 AM
Mile Marker 3... tensions doubled in eleven minutes...

10:50 AM
I am beginning to get impatient, and experiencing similar symptoms to those anti-depressants they prescribe so freely (nausea, headaches, runny nose, jitterbugs)...

10:56 AM
Four minutes to pre-sale kick-off, and I just couldn't keep standing. I had to sit in front of the computer... it felt productive.

10:59 AM
I wanted to take a picture at 10:59, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hit the button at exactly 11 o'clock. When I Googled "10:59 AM", this came up. I have no idea why.

11:26 AM
With two computers going at the same time, I got in, Mama didn't. It all depends on those split seconds whether you see this screen...
...or continue the buying process.
It's a scary feeling!

We made it by the skin of our teeth (and we all know how thin that is... I use a prescription toothpaste, personally, but Sensodyne works for most people), but we're going!

Yes, Babyface, yes, we will!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Tings And Queens Of War

My Grandy, bless, gets lots of junk mail from The Bradford Exchange... you may remember the Elvis pillows highlighted here not too long ago?
Well, boy howdy, glum-gee-diddle, have they got a doosie for us today!
Limited to only 1,953 pieces, the Marilyn Monroe "Sparkle of a Legend" statue adds "the fluid grace of Marilyn" to any decor!

They were going for this...

...created this...

...which reminds me of something I saw in Vegas...

As quoted from the brochure, cross my heart and hope to fly: Notice how perfectly the sculptor brings to life the beauty of Marilyn's face...


In other news, one of my favorite magazines, Metropolitan Home...
Hubba hubba

...went, for lack of a better phrase, tits up.
That being said, they have decided to fill in the remainder of my subscription with Woman's Day...
I'm under 20, and weigh 100 pounds fully dressed, do you think I give a monkey's arse if I make guilt-free desserts? TVP-Helper is a stretch of my imagination.

Why do I bring this up?
Well, they've got something called the Month of Menus... guess what they include for every Monday?

Sooo... YAY for Meat Free Monday! Making a difference, one less burger at a time. And don't blame me that it's such a catchy tune, I can't help it if you're singing this until next Monday, and then the vicious cycle starts all over again. Nope, can't blame me.

Now, it's time for more random stuff that's been floating about in my brainbucket.
Isn't it your favorite part of the program? It is mine!

Firstly, my mother thinks that one of the guys on this season of The Bachelorette looks like the guy in "Emergency!"

Bachelorette guy...

I'm inclined to believe her.

It's not his fault, they can't all be Ed...


This week's forecast? Mostly hot, with a chance of war...

...and the jobs forecast is just about the same...


They want to make sure we know Igor is American, 'cause his name might confuse us...

Today's psychoses weren't brought to you by...

Have you seen this?
You bet yer knee-highs that's Paul and Pete Townshend.

And another thing!
As a public service announcement, I'm telling you not to see The Hot Tub Time Machine. You will thank me.
Yes, yes, I know, the preview looks great...

...but it will only lead to disappointment in John Cusack's role-picking ability since High Fidelity.

Hey, when has Nick Hornby ever let us down?

I will say this for Hot Tub Time Machine, though... it got that stupid song, "Jessie's Girl", stuck in my head.

Yes, I know that isn't the original, but this one has a little more grit, a little less... well, '80s.

I think we need something to clear the palette...

OK, I can function at optimal level now my Paul-Cuteness gagues are reading at full.

Last, but certainly not least, since this is the Turret Full Of Raven's 222nd post, I think it only fitting that we use a fitting song, because it's fitting.

Ahhhh... bonus material!

You are now free to go back to your boring lives.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

An Open Letter To Yoko Ono Lennon

Dear Yoko,
Tonight, my mother and I watched The Beatles LOVE documentary.
I would firstly like to commend you for taking such impeccable care of John's legacy, big details and small; it was very evident in the documentary that it's a task you don't take lightly, and we all appreciate it.
Something you said in your interview, though, has been ringing in my ears: I cannot quote it verbatim, but it was something along the lines of John being "just a voice now". I have to tell you that hearing you say those words just broke my heart.
The purpose of this open letter, then?
Words aren't good enough to describe what John means to me, but I want you to know that, in my own life, John isn't just a voice.
It's just something I thought you should know.

Thanks for everything, Yoko.
i ii iii

June 4, 2010


Do I think Yoko will ever read this?
Why did I do it, then?
Because I want to make sure that, to as many people as possible, John Ono Lennon doesn't just become "a voice".

Is It A Subscription Box, Or Something More Sinister? (It's A Subscription Box. Maybe.)