Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Spring Hath Sprung!

It's official... Spring has finally sprung here.
Trees are budding out, bulbs are sprouting up, bushes are being... um, bush-y... you get the picture.
Or do you?
WELL... aren't you lucky, 'cause I went outside this evening to play with the camera!
Here are some lovely Springy shots to get you in the mood for putting your hands in the dirt... oh, yeah, and planting some flowers or something, too.

Let's hope for some April showers to bring more May flowers!
And now, a Gay Little Spring Song... no, really...

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Sorry, I just had to say it.
Let us begin our rundown.
The mind-blowingness was as follows:
1.Venus and Mars/Rock Show
3.All My Loving
4.Got to Get You Into My Life
6.Let Me Roll It/Foxey Lady
7.The Long and Winding Road
8.Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five
9.(I Want To) Come Home
10.My Love
11.I'm Looking Through You
12.Every Night
13.Two of Us
15.Here Today
16.Dance Tonight
17.Mrs. Vandebilt
18.Eleanor Rigby
20.Letting Go
21.Sing the Changes
22.Band on the Run
23.Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
24.Back in the U.S.S.R.
25.I've Got a Feeling
26.Paperback Writer
27.A Day in the Life/Give Peace a Chance
28.Let it Be
29.Live and Let Die
30.Hey Jude

31.Day Tripper
32.Lady Madonna
33.Get Back

Second Encore:
35.Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)/The End

Secondly, the man was ROCKIN' harder than I've ever seen him.
Thirdly, PAUL!
Fifthly, no programmes?
Yep, no programmes. They ship out on April 5 (and yes, I've already pre-ordered... it's Paulie, how can you not?).
Sixthly, no Ou Est Le Soleil during the preshow music?
Nope. I actually kind of missed it (and it took a while, but they finally played Temporary Secretary right before he took the stage).
One of my favorite audience events of the night didn't have much to do with what was happening onstage, and I shall now bore you with that tale.
The tension mounts... Paul's "here he comes!" music was blaring, the video screens were all ready to be filled with live images, the house lights were down, the stage lights were up, and The Chosen One finally takes the stage. I, of course, in true 'OH MY GOD, THAT'S PAUL!' fashion, emit in ear-splitting scream of excitement (which, I must admit, it totally involuntary). The man next to me turned around, and looked me up and down as if to suggest he didn't know such a small person could produce that effective a scream. That's right, I think I blew the battery in his hearing aid.
Anyway... the concert itself was a beautiful thing.
We got some Venus and Mars action (about time, Babe!), we got Nineteen Hundred And Eighty-Five (in my top three "if I chose the setlist" songs), and we got precious Precious moments! The highlights:
1 - after the first of his two encores, someone tossed a stuffed Easter bunny on stage. Paul thanks the fan, and exits the stage. As he comes out for the second encore, he turns his back to the crowd to reveal the pink bunny stuffed into his belt! What's more, he keeps it there while he sings Yesterday, and as he handed his acoustic guitar to "the guitar man", he told him to keep the bunny, and it was lovingly placed near The Hofner.
2 - he got tangled in the Hofner's strap; lackies were onhand, but not required.
3 - Here Today had to be my favorite number of the evening (besides Nineteen Hundred And Eighty-Five, obviously)
4 - the soundcheck was gab fear and that; at first, we thought we'd missed Paul, because Brian, AKA The Burly Scottish Man, walked into the venue about five minutes after we got there. Fortunately, we didn't miss him, but we were a little worried for a minute there.
Paul came down a ramp from the street, and we watched him from what was almost a viewing deck, so we got shots from above the car instead of street level.
It was kind of an odd set up, but we're just glad we got to see it.
Somebody had a freshly polished GTO right by the door Paul went into, so we all sang Mull Of Kintyre, trying to lure him out to look at it (picture it, twenty fangirls screaming Mull Of Kintyre, shouting for him to come back... it was probably a right scene!)... alas, no soap.
5 - Paul was rockin' harder than ever. He danced, hopped, solo'd, and cuted his way through a heavy setlist for the whole three hours he was onstage. He was as energetic during the middle of the show as the beginning, and still going like he'd just started as he took the final bow. He'll be 68 in a few months, and he could have put any 20-something in his respective grave.
6 - I love to catch Paulie bloopers, and there were a couple, during (I Want To) Come Home, and Dance Tonight... it was adorable!
I suppose I went the long way about it, but the point is that this concert was MADE OF EFFING AWESOME. Don't believe me? Check out some of the reviews!
Second only to Tulsa, and that, my friends, is saying something (it's McCain's state, and I think it's rubbing off on me, my friends).
Pictures now!

I've said it a hundred times, and I must make it a hundred and one...
In memory of the missing song...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hellooooooooooo, Precious!

The lasses of Fusspot Farm were squirming with delight and gigglefits this morning.
There was also some very bad dancing...

... yeah, like that.
Just watch...

To which I must say...

Hello, Precious! We'll be seeing you on Sunday, Baby Face.

Once again proving that he could go on stage in a gunny sack and just sit in a chair, and folks would say it was the coolest thing ever.
However, the Baby Face gag is one of my favorites, and I hope he uses it in Glendale... 'cause he IS the Baby Face, mefinks.

Not yet.

Now we're done.
Oh, and congratulations are in order for this, the 199th blog post ('cause celebrating the 200th blog post would just have been too obvious)!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Formal Apology To Mr. Schuman...

Firstly, I would like to say upfront that this post is going to be pointless, boring, and totally random. There. Now you can't blame me for not warning you.
Secondly, this will take some explaining, and I highly doubt you'll care to hear the story, but I plan on including several pointless videos at the end of this post (hence the randomness), so feel free to just skip this bit if you wish. I'm going to try and make up for boring you nearer the end.

OK, story...
Back a few months ago, all the folks running for local political office were hob-nobbing about the neighborhood... you know, "Howdy, Ma'm, I'm runnin' for *insert position here* and I was hopin' I could count on yer vote", that kind of thing.

Cut To Scene :
My mother goes off to the store at around three o'clock on a Friday afternoon, and I stay at home to do whatever it is I do when I'm home (mainly dance about to Venus And Mars, but that's neither here nor there).
This plan is executed without any difficulty.
As I unload the groceries, she says "Did you find my organic peanut butter?"
Well, no, I hadn't, so I volunteer to go out to the car and see if it rolled out of the shopping bag.
Please, keep in mind that it's around the four o'clock hour.
I grab the car keys, open the front door, and see a pair of feet. In slo-mo replay in my mind, I remember going from feet to legs, recognizing blue jeans.
"Daddy's home from work early today", I think to myself. I open my mouth to say "Oh, what are you doing home?"
(Remember, we're still on slo-mo here.)
Once my eyes trail up and find a huge belt buckle, and a face I cannot place, the "Oh, what are you doing home?" turned into a bloody, horror movie, primal scream... which, come to find, I didn't even know I was doing.
(In my family, the immediate reaction to a stranger at the door is that he wants to kill/abduct you.)
The unfamiliar voice says "Well, uh, I did ring the bell". (Our doorbell, for those who don't know, is notorious for not working. Today was one of those days.)
He looks terrified, and I finally realize I'm screaming bloody murder. Once I shut myself up, he says, "I'm runnin' for *insert position here*, and I was hopin' I could count on yer vote".
He hands me a card through the door, when, FINALLY, for Pete's sake, someone comes to see what the whole fiasco was about. Stella, my mother's chihuahua, came up to the door and started barking. The man acknowledges that a dog is there and says, "Oh, I've got a doggie, too, see?", and he points at his little dog on the card.
"Yeah, thanks a lot," was all I could manage to say to him as I slammed the door in his face.
As I walk into our kitchen, my mother, the little monkey, says "Who was at the door?"
(Where were you three minutes ago, woman?)
I retell the story, show her the card, and she says, "Oh, that's Mr. Schuman, he lives down at the end of the block".
The worst part of it is that I HAD unloaded the peanut butter, I just didn't realize it.
Incidentally, folks have stopped ringing our doorbell.

Well, Mr. Schuman and his opponent are in a run-off election now, and the whole process is starting over again.

Cut To Scene :
Today, around four o'clock, the dogs start barking like mad beasts. The bell didn't ring (again), but it was one of those barks you know you shouldn't just let go by without investigation.
As my mother opens the front door, she calls to me, "Hey, your friend left you a note!"
I go to the door, and find this taped to our mailbox...
Was the poor man afraid to call on Fusspot Farm a second time?
I promise, we are NOT The House of Usher... we're mostly sane!

So, to Mr. Schuman, I would just like to say...

NOW. On to fun things that won't bore you!
These are just a few of the things running about in my brain bucket of late.
Number One... the new Jeopardy! set. Admittedly, I think they changed this a while ago, but I've only just seen it. Take a virtual tour and try not to expect Molly Ringwald and the Two Corys to come out with Mr. Trebeck.

Number Two... the dumbest Twilight commercial ever.
This is the only copy I can find on YouTube, but you'll get the gist of the thing...

...and they're running it during every ruddy commercial break during The Golden Girls.
Now, I know what it is to be a mega-fan of something, and you will find yourself speaking the parts of different characters (or just reciting the whole film, whatever)... but (and I don't know if you can see it in the terrible quality of the video) I don't understand crying whilst doing so.
This one's for you, Twilight weirdo...

Number Three... what the hell is this about?

This Turret Full Of Ravens blog post was brought to you by the letter 'T'...

Question... why does Mr. T (HAH!) not have any clothes on? And, more to the point, how does he play his little guitar without any arms?
However, a big congratu-well-done to the Sesame Street graphics department for getting the little 'T' to look like the singer...


Hey! How'd our favorite kitty get in here?

It's no wonder why Mr. Schuman wouldn't come to the door again...
OK, we're done, promise.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hope You're Wearing Green!

It's that time of year again... time to celebrate the Irish!

Who else here is looking forward to corned beef tonight? I know I sure am!

Not feeling in the green spirit of the occasion?
Allow me to fix that...
We'll take a moment to admire the Irish humor (or humour, whatever)...

...and other things to make us feel all Erin Go Bragh.

Or maybe you just want to Give Ireland Back To The Irish...

Either way, have a happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Netspeak, And The People Who Don't Use It...

I have often said I am completely out of touch with my own generation. To be honest, I really prefer it that way; we've not yet done a damn thing to be proud of (Mac geeks excluded, of course), we're still just a drain/headache to society.
That being said, I would like for you to look at this comic from last Sunday's funny papers (because it's still 1932 at our house, and we call them the funny papers)...
Flo & Friends
Did YOU understand what was being said in frame two?
If you did, you're a member of the hip club.
I didn't, therefore, I am a member of the hip replacement club.
Always on the quest to expand my vocabulary, I went to the handy-dandy for answers.
There are several entries for "ND", so I'm relying on guesswork as I loosely translate :

Girl 1 : Oh, yeah. She asked if I'd bring my MP3 (as an aside, don't we just call MP3 players iPods? Like we say Band-Aids or Kleenex, not bandage or disposable tissue... 'cause, technically, we'd have to call them MP3, MP4, and AAC players if that weren't the case) and that new Lady Gaga.
Girl 2 : She just wrote back and said : Oh my God, I'm not down, but it's no big deal. How 'bout you? See you later. Lots of laughter.

Am I wrong, right, or half-assed? Have we been educated in modern slag (fab gear, man, really swingin'), or are you cursing the few minutes you've wasted reading this drivel?
Should I continue to wonder why it's so damn hard for people to just TYPE what they want to say, instead of coming up with an ineffective language?
Should I play some Billy Joel?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Tommy's Enlightened Democracy...

When I'm on my own, I like to watch Headline News... they get straight to the point, no fuss, frills, or otherwise, and in about thirty minutes, you've got the gist of everything going on in current events.
Today, I was on my own, watching Headline News, when a segment on Texas textbooks came up.
I watched in horror as they talked of the changes they want to make.
Here's a more in-depth video...

A few thoughts on the changes...

* Axing Democracy for Constitutional Republic
They want Democracy changed to Constitutional Republic because it sounds too much like the Democratic party? I thought this was why we educated our children; so they'd know the difference between democracy as a form of government, and the democratic party as a set of same-minded people.
The words are practically synonyms, but that isn't the point. The point is that we're changing things that needn't be changed.

* Capitalism for Free Enterprise
Again... uh, what? Why aren't we teaching the sprogs the difference between capitalism as our economic system, and the Marxist Theory? Why should we change the wording so we won't have to explain the different meanings in different contexts?
If the kids can't figure out that some words have multiple meanings, we really are going to all have to switch to Net-and-Textspeak.

And, in my opinion, the biggest and baddest problem...
* Omitting Jefferson as a participant in the Enlightenment
I suppose we're going to stop telling the nippers that JFK was Catholic, too, 'cause it might offend somebody.
The Enlightenment was a huge movement for a nation in it's infancy; it helped shape part of our ideals, and it's effects are still being felt today (for example, their philosophy of the relationship between the citizen and the role of the state).
And, more to the point, it was part of our nation's history... why are we excluding fact? It happened, therefore, it shouldn't be excluded... particularly since it was important enough at one point to INCLUDE it.
Why in monkey hell are we taking it OUT of school books, then?
The best way to effect the future is to limit the knowledge of tomorrow's leaders, and that's exactly what I think is happening here... maybe not intentionally, but it's happening.

Now, anyone who knows anything about me will tell you that I am absolutely against the public education system, but this is just stupidity on a new level.
Isn't it bad enough that slavery (which, I shall state now, I do not condone or defend in any way) has been blown totally out of proportion?
I have argued endlessly with people, because facts are simply ignored when it comes to the meat and potatoes of the issue... and the fabrications aren't even consistent.
But, hey, what do I know?

In other news, have you seen this?

They had to put frigging closed captioning on it so the rest of us could understand what they were saying.

Oh, and speaking of the 2010 Census, I urge all of you to only answer how many people are living in your household, since that's all the Constitution says they're allowed to ask.

How about a song? You know, one without closed captioning...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

MORE Holy Frosted Flakes, Batman!

My spies tell me it's partly-sunny in Amarillo today.
It may come as a shock to those in that partly-sunny weather that it's been snowing like a monkey in shoes for the last few hours.
Yep. Snow.
It started picking up around 11 o'clock, and I sternly resisted the urge to go out and play in it (no, you're never too old to play in the snow, and if you think you are, just pack it in). Finally, around a quarter to one, I just couldn't resist any longer; I grabbed my big fuzzy bathrobe (as you would, if you were going to play in the snow) and the camera, and snapped some lovely shots, which I shall now share with you...

Our favorite snow view...

More boring pictures of boring trees...

More boring macro shots of boring nature stuff...

Why study for mid-terms when you can play in the snow, instead?

Here's one for everybody stuck in the sun...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Stick Men, Their Professions, And An Advert...

Ever notice those stupid banner ads on websites? Oh, of course you have... we've just all learned to tune them out.
However, a couple of months ago, after reading this post, I started to take notice of just how ruddy silly they are.
I think this one has to be my favorite...
(Answer: What is dinner?)

While browsing this evening, I think I found the runner up...
What do we glean from this advert?
Well, photographers, authors, teachers, psychologists, hotel managers, graphic designers, medical billing experts, public relations specialists, accountants, and more are perfectly happy members of society.
Criminal investigators, however, are downright, bloody miserable.

You be the judge.

I'll leave you with this, which caused the lasses of Fusspot Farm to squee with giggles of delight...

Is It A Subscription Box, Or Something More Sinister? (It's A Subscription Box. Maybe.)