Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Are We Supposed To Be Excited About The Olympics? ('Cause I'm Rather Preoccupied This Week)

By now, two facts should be firmly established to anyone perusing the three-hundred-and-some posts made through the years on this here piece of the Interwebbing: for starters -- judging from the fact that there are over three hundred posts here -- it should be evident that I spend far too much time on the Internet; couple that with the now completely obvious fact that I am a massive fangirl (and to think I actually tried to keep that from you; no wonder my early posts were boring), and you have the basis for most of the stories of my life. So, if I start out this story by saying that I spent my Sunday night like I spend every night, Pinky -- yes, on the Internet -- looking at fangirly stuff, you wouldn't be surprised, right?
Surely you can give me some kind of reaction.
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Thank you.

There I was, minding my own business, when I came across four little words, typed all in capitals: IMAGINE A BAND OLYMPICS.
I briefly considered the fact, and left it at that. It was only in the shroud of darkness, in the early hours of the morning, that I allowed myself to fully explore the concept.
While I was trying in vein to sleep last night, I came up with a full itinerary.
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Would you like to see a template for the London 2012 Band Olympics?
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Reginald Kitty is not amused.

Rather than a traditional torch carrying ceremony, the Band Olympics would have a torch lighting ceremony dedicated to the fallen gods of Rock 'N' Roll, during which, Don McLean would perform "American Pie".


After which, the Official Opening Ceremony would commence. They could use a hologram of Freddie Mercury for the obligatory "We Will Rock You" performance to fire up the crowd before the games began...


Taking cues from the actual 2012 Olympics, there are a few sporting events that could take place in the Band Olympics that will be featured in London next month.

Archery (2:06 to 2:28 time stamps)...


Athletics...


Boxing...


Gymnastics (fun hint: try muting the music video, and playing this while watching the video. Perhaps it was the sleep deprivation, but I thought it was hilarious at four o'clock this morning)...


And shooting...


Of course, since it's the Band Olympics, perhaps a special "Rock Band" event could be arranged...


To close the ceremonies, Ray Davies would perform the title song from "Village Green Preservation Society" to add to the British vibe (see what I did there)...


And, for the big finale, Pete Townshend would tear the place apart piece by piece...


Naturally, there would have to be a decent amount of planning and safety concerns if there was to be a Winter Band Olympics...


Although, after considering the dangers involved for these highly important people, it's probably best that there is no such thing as a Band Olympics after all.
They need to keep doing what they do best...
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Mr. Higgenson, you naughty boy.

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The countdown on their main website is what will be keeping me preoccupied this week, in case you were wondering.

And we can keep doing what we do best.
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Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Essence Of Stevie Wonder Lives Within Me

Last Friday was such a lovely day, mirroring the week that was ending: the sun hid itself behind some beautiful rain clouds; I had the house all to myself for a while, with The Maine on my Bose, my dog in my lap, and a fresh cup of hot tea. The "smashing" end to the afternoon, though, was the awesome bump on my head from where I ran into a door. That was fun.
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It was like this, but with less face. I hit my face later, in a totally unrelated incident.

Last week was full of false alarms, though, let me tell you.
On Monday, I woke up and thought it was Bachelorette Monday.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I took my finals for the semester, one with the biggest implications since The Algebra Incident (because I know you care).

On Thursday, we got the news that Community was cancelled.
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There isn't anyone I would rather have heard that from. Which, I guess, is a good thing, since that's how I found out.

And, Friday, my grandfather flat out told me he thought I was going to be a spinster. Also, I am, apparently, in love with Paul McCartney.
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Now that we are almost a week off from these little heart-attack-inducing moments, I can look at them a little more clearly:
*I was only a week off; the Bachelorette started on Monday, people! It looks like it'll be a fun season, too. After all, we wait all year for the Bachelorette! We've been excited about this for over a month. I made butter spritz cookies for the premier.
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Unfortunately, due to an accident involving my cookie press, we were deprived of the awesometastic shapes; the satisfaction of saving a disastrous situation came in the form of waxed paper, a rolling pin, and the little screw cap to my now broken press.
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Also, I think I need a new cookie press; maybe one with a trigger?
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Oooooo, pretty.

*I passed each of my finals with flying colors, thereby maintaining my cumulative 4.0 average.
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*Community wasn't cancelled! The next season was shortened to thirteen episodes, and moved from Thursday to Friday (still undecided if that's a death move or not), but it certainly wasn't cancelled; at least it has a chance to have more episodes commissioned, and that's of great importance. Personally, I'd like to see them make it to the hundredth episode mark before they officially got the axe, even though, in an ideal world, the show would live out its lifespan (but that might not happen). Of course, every other American show I've liked in the last ten years was cancelled. And by American shows, I mean Pushing Daisies. I still mourn the loss of my Tuesday date with the inhabitants of Coeur d'Coeurs.
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"What Did I Do With My Life Before I Blogged?" fun fact: I visited the actual Pie Hole set while the show was on hiatus. It was awesome.

If Community can't make it on NBC, then maybe a cable station can pick it up (if that's the case, I need to buy one of these before the are unavailable). We can hope so; otherwise, how will I get my Abed fix?

A guy that actually likes to sit in his pajamas, watch British TV, and eat buttered noodles? Where can I download an Abed? This is a serious inquiry.

*And, as far as my grandfather is concerned, I'll just chock it up to his unnecessary need to constantly speak, and age-related senility. I may die alone, but at least I'll have the mono Ram to keep me company on those lonely nights.

Who else took advantage of the lithograph and t-shirt combo? LOVING IT. What, RAM is one of my "Top Five Personal Favorite Albums in the History of Ever"; I'm entitled to get the deluxe fangirl package if I want it.

That, and my kick-ass personal audio settings (so what if I screencapped my personal audio settings; it's my blog, and I can!)...
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My computer's speakers are professional grade, but my favorite part about them is that these settings also apply to any headphones/speakers plugged into my machine (read, BOSE). If you could hear music like I do after I made this freaking amazing discovery, you would run out to the nearest Best Buy and get a laptop like mine.

...and, of course, all of you who chose to spend time here. And even those who just type in random awesome things that make me laugh...
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I love that someone found my blog by searching for this; I simply had to screencap it.

As for the "essence of Stevie Wonder", I can't really say much; my mother just said it to me. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Bands, And Television Dating Shows Take Up Far Too Much Of My Time (Yet I Am Unashamed)

Is it just me, or does it feel like we've been waiting forever since The Bachelor ended, so that The Bachelorette can begin?
'Cause it seems like ages. Just sayin'.
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We finally have some information about the twenty-five schmucks we will be watching this season; and, let me tell you, they aren't a bed of roses. (See what I did there? Hilarity ensues.) See, here at Fusspot Farm, we have a tradition: we go through the twenty-five, and give our opinions on who will make it far enough into the game to be able to narrow it down to the longshot-of-winning-the-whole-ruddy-thing stage. Out of the whole set, we have narrowed it down to seven we think will "go far". At this point, we're really just having a chuckle; not only at the way we zero in on certain "players" like betting on race horses, but at some of the, um, folks that made the final twenty-five. See, we also amuse ourselves by making fun of these people. We have to get our kicks somewhere, I suppose. Right, Ma?
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With that said, let's look at what we're working with, here.

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Alejandro
Occupation: Mushroom Farmer
I can't wait to hear how this is explained in his fifteen second video introduction. That's all I'm going to say at this time.


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Alessandro
This caused a few laughs:

Do you like to go dancing? If yes what is your preferred type of dancing?

Yes. Anything, electronic the most.

The two of us couldn't figure out what electronic dancing was. It was a rude awakening, indeed.

After the 1:32 time stamp, we couldn't handle any more. Hell, I dared someone to do The Freddie once, for the love of all that's good and cheesy. I think we all know what kind of dancing I know.

Dave Davies, with bonus one-of-the-best-movies-ever-made montages. Who could refuse that?


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David
Occupation: Singer/Songwriter
Lord, just read his biography, the whole thing is a laugh riot. We get it, you're a musician. You made one whole album, and have the website to prove it (remember, kids, it's called "supersleuthing", not "stalking"). Congratu-well-done, sir. Are we sure about who has the "serious issues *upstairs*"? You just keep on diluting yourself; you never know, you may end up with a number one song in Chihuahua, Mexico.



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Jef
Occupation: Former member of One Direction.
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Kalon
Again, just click the link. I wasn't actually going to include this one, but that was before I read his profile.


Oh, and, just in case you couldn't figure it out, none of these are in our Top Seven. You know, in case you were wondering.

Speaking of Bachelor news, now that Chris Harrison and his wife have split up, can he be the new Bachelor? Please? Can we get some kind of petition going or something, 'cause I think this could really draw in some viewers. That, and my inner eight year old fangirl has been having a mini-heart attack since I first thought about this. If Ed refuses to do it, Chris Harrison will just have to take his place. It must be done.
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On a similar note (I don't remember ever saying that in my life, but let's keep going like this interruption was never here), everyone has heard about the latest travesty in reality dating, right?
Just watch the video.


When I found out about this, I experienced a range of emotions.
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Eventually sticking with this one...
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I'm actually on the fence about whether I'll watch it or not.
There. I said it.
If something good happens, I can watch the clips on YouTube. And by good, I mean Tom Higgenson shows up. Did I say that?
Also -- fangirly side note -- I think his little introductory segment would have had more impact if "Sunlight" had been discussed, rather than "Rhythm Of Love". But, you know, they have reasons for these things, I guess. So what if "Sunlight" didn't go platinum, was on the worst reviewed album in their band's history, and wasn't sung by the guy that's actually on the show? Whatever.


You know, it's at moments like this that I realize I spend far too much time on the Internet. Yet, as I sit here in the wee hours of the morning, I cannot find any trace of regret.
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Is It A Subscription Box, Or Something More Sinister? (It's A Subscription Box. Maybe.)