Friday, June 22, 2012

The Circle Of Ed

Any time there is a Bachelor/ette/Pad related announcement, my mother and I gather around my shiny computer to enjoy the experience together. When I found out that the Bachelor Pad cast had been announced (very quietly, apparently), computer chairs were pushed closer in an attempt to include the two of us, plus the children, while still being able to see the screen. I contemplated not saying anything to her this time, simply because the day that the countdown for The Reckless And The Brave went live (and before Hopeless spoiled the surprise), she decided to cash in on a fangirl moment -- and, I suppose, see how healthy my heart was -- by pulling a terrible prank involving a fictitious announcement stating the Ed was going to be on Bachelor Pad.
Regardless, there we sat. She turned to me and said "I hope they've cast Ed this time" -- I knew there was a reason I include her in everything -- and, with those seven words, we began the usual ritual.

We scrolled through the photographs of the new cast members with our usual "who-the-hell-is-that-I-don't-remember-them-who's-season-were-they-on" gibberish; we laughed and reminisced about the wonderful times we've had while watching this stupid series over the last ten years. We bonded, enjoying our tea, and the warm fuzzies in the depths of our jaded widdle hearts.

The closer we got to the end of the slideshow, the more I thought that we wouldn't be seeing Ed on the next season; how it would be really terrible, since I very publicly predicted that he sounded like a pretty sure thing. I visually pictured sweeping that post right under the rug, and made a mental note not to include it in the annual blog anniversary post (see, I really do plan for this stuff in advance -- contrary to popular belief).
At about the third to last profile, I was thinking to myself, "they've probably saved Ed 'til last", simply because he was the fan favorite that no one would have expected to show up on the Bachelor Mansion's door mat again.
Imagine my reaction, then, when this is the very last contestant profile...

There are two major points to take away from this:

1) I am awesome.

2) We're all really enjoying this season of The Bachelorette...

...and we're for sure going to love this season of Bachelor Pad...

...but, Chris Harrison, can't we still get Ed to be the next Bachelor? You'd win all the awards.
Don't worry, Chris Harrison, you can be Bachelor in 2014.
Yeah, no, this joke will zombie-fy, don't worry.

Is It A Subscription Box, Or Something More Sinister? (It's A Subscription Box. Maybe.)