Today, I was given a fortune cookie.
For those of you who cannot read my artsy macro photography, the fortune says "There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you", and lists some "lucky numbers" for me (which, by the way, they did not list my two actual lucky numbers. Twenty billion brownie points if you can guess them).
"Today?" I thought to myself. "Pffffttttt. It's just going to be a typical Saturday for me, thanks. I've got an essay to write, dammit. I have things to do! A purpose!"
I shall now break down my "typical Saturday" for you, dear reader.
Simply because I CAN.
Reginald Kitty is not amused.
The top rack of our dish washer gave way this afternoon.
Casualties included two Beatles mugs...
Only slightly injured...
Smashed to bits...
At least this mug survived...
Phew! Simply irreplaceable!
One glass, one bowl, and two scratched up lasses at Fusspot Farm.
Oh, not to mention that the rack is buggered up, and now needs fixing.
We also had to give my mother's dog a bath.
Let's just say, she's a little tea stained.
Let me rephrase that. She got a full cup of hot tea spilled on her.
Neither of these dogs is Stella. This is merely here to illustrate my point.
I almost died while watching Graham Norton this afternoon.
If you want to fast forward to the 5:52 time stamp, that's what we'll be referencing.
Well, as soon as he pointed out the "Life! Death! Prizes!" line, I happened to get the french fry I was happily munching on stuck down the wrong tube.
Let me tell you, dear reader, I have never choked quite that way before.
Normal people would have panicked.
I am told I choked like a lady.
I wouldn't know, 'cause I kinda sorta don't remember much about it.
If you chose door number one...
Paul on Red Nose Day last night!
Did you find the photo of Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt in the background?
Go on, watch it twice. It'll be our little secret.
If you picked door number two...
One Night Only's brand spanky new video!
It's so new, it's only been viewed 302 times!
Go on, make it 303... give 'em a palindrome!
Or, if you decided on door number three...
I don't know much about them, either. I just read about them on Anglotopia's 25 British Artists You Should Be Listening To list.
Hey, if you love that, check out the second list!
Just remember to keep calm...
I've been humming this all day, so I figured I'd share.
Catchy, even if it is a girl singing.
Didn't get the prize you were hoping for?
I caught my mother singing a Plain White T's song today.
Future Tom Higgenson fan?
Well, perhaps not pre-2008.
So, that was my typical Saturday.
Well, except for this heavenly little croissant with boysenberry preserves.
I haven't had a croissant this good since I was in Canada. That's pretty damn good.
I think the only thing really "typical" - well, typical for me, anyway - was finding this review of the new Panic At The Disco album. Harsh words from Spin, man (but I agree, actually).
Overall, I'd say today was as fun as a chicken in shoes.
See the fun you can have when you aren't writing essays?
Ricky The K's Solid Gold Time Machine
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